This is my response to an email I received about an online, Christian dating service…my intention was to give simple response and it turned into what you see…I pray it blesses you.

I feel the church is still insisting it has to compete with the world and do everything they are doing so that the saints will not go to the world...if you teach them principals and empower them, and teach them to trust Jesus things like these would not work because people will trust that God can and will bring their mate to them.

I'm a witness to that. My wife is from another country. I didn't have to go to that country to find her, but he looking out for me all those years ago put it together...and the crazy part about it is he will bring you right next to your destiny and you won't even know until it is time...my wife and I saw each other many times years before we spoke a word to each other, before we began to be friends and before we knew we were meant to be together! We met in church, we became friends in church, and we knew we were meant to be through church!

Now I've tried a lot in my life to make that decision for God, and try to find my wife apart from God, but destiny was set long before...and I'll also say this, it took 6 years from the time when I knew I'd loved her that we got married, and about 4 of those years it didn't look like it was ever going to happen...and so what happened? I didn't trust God enough! I can admit that...I wanted to again work apart from God, and began to make very bad decisions. People have to really learn to trust God in the area of a mate…and I can see early in my marriage that my wife was created for me, and I for her…because we have to grace to handle each other. What does that mean? When you look at grace, you have to see three things…Divine Favor, Divine Enablement, and Divine Intervention…#1 getting something that we do not deserve; God’s unmerited favor. #2, I have to see how God has empowered me and equipped me for the assignment, so God working in me to handle what tasks he’s given me to do. I can handle my wife’s strengths and weaknesses, I can handle her moods good or bad, whatever comes with being with her I’ve been equipped to handle that...and vice versa. Now does that mean we don’t upset one another and need some time to get issues straight, no it means that we can make it through those things and more because we’ve been empowered to, we have the tools necessary to handle that others don’t so that could not do it. And lastly #3, I have to see how God worked aside from me for me. He didn’t need me to do anything. During those 4 years although I was doing what I was doing, in and out of relationships searching here and there are you the one? Are you the one? Are you the one? God was saying when you get finished, what’s for you is over here…And let me just say this if it wasn’t for God I could not have worked it out myself that my wife would even want to marry me! So he worked apart from me, and intervened on my behalf.

I said that to say that when we don’t trust God, we get into situations that we may not have the grace to handle, and that is why those situations end up the way they do…I feel terrible about the lives affected by me not trusting God! I wish I would have just let him do what he was doing…immediate gratification is why things like the internet dating, blind dates, (just the title alone scares me…you’re going in blind, without sight, vision, the people perish…and you’re trusting someone other than God to connect you with someone in hopes that this will turn into a wonderful relationship…Selah) and the newest one…speed dating. People want to be with someone now, I need a relationship now, I can’t go one without having that someone, I need someone to talk to, someone to hang with. And I can honestly say that because that was me…not realizing that there was always someone there, that I could have a legitimate relationship with, someone I could talk to, hang with, someone who could love me forever, love me unconditionally, and who would never leave me, or forsake me! I missed the most important relationship, looking for one that will eventually have to end. I say that because even the best relationships have to end when our time is up on this Earth, we transition to our real assignment.

The church must stop coming up with ways to keep people from trusting God just because the world is doing it…I guess the church feels we have to give them an alternative so that they won’t go to the world…

Really that is sad, because instead of following Jesus we are watching what the world is doing and trying to create things based on them and put the Jesus brand on it, and we call it holy. How can we go outside of God to find God???? There are very basic, very foundational, very well know scriptures that blow all of this out of the water, but we overstep that to have this new church…

Matthew 6:33
³³But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

The kingdom of God is the spiritual realm where the mind, purpose, and intent of God is our primary, main, #1 focus. The kingdom is where the king dominates, has rule, and has ultimate authority. So we have to go to the king to find out what he wants, and carry out that assignment, and then all these things will be added. But the all these things may not be the things you asked for. In the earlier verse he was talking about food and clothing. He said I know what you need, so don’t trouble yourself trying to take care of yourself. If you would just trust me enough I’ll give you the instructions on how to take care of yourself…Jesus gave Peter an assignment to pay taxes, and he told him how to get the money to pay them…

Matthew 17:27
²⁷Notwithstanding, lest we should offend them, go thou to the sea, and cast an hook, and take up the fish that first cometh up; and when thou hast opened his mouth, thou shalt find a piece of money: that take, and give unto them for me and thee.

That seems easy but Peter had to believe the money would be there, which means he had to go and get his fishing equipment, he had to go to the water, cast his line, and wait for the fish to bite. See we read it and it sounds like Peter just left from there, picked up the first fish he saw, got the money and paid the taxes. I’m sure it didn’t happen that fast. But it’s not about how long it takes; it’s about carrying out the kings will.

Would to God we could have that type of relationship with God, where we hear his voice, and carry it out. Because provision is right there in the assignment, or task that you’ve been given to you. Everything you need! You may not get everything you want, but you’ll never lack what you need!

Proverbs 3:5-6
⁵Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

This passage is self explanatory…
If we really with our whole heart seek God, he may tell you something you don’t want to know, he may not even answer you right away, he may say no…he may say wait…how many people really can hear that and honor that. But that is why we have the results we’ve had is because really seeking God means coming to the table without an agenda! I’m coming with no ideas, no thoughts, and no ulterior motives. Because when I do I can’t hear the real agenda because if they don’t match mine will eventually get in the way.

These are some passages on the heart and why if we have something in our heart it can prevent us from really doing God’s will.

Psalm 66:18
If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

Psalm 64:6
They search out iniquities; they accomplish a diligent search: both the inward thought of every one of them, and the heart, is deep.

Proverbs 4:23
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Psalm 55:21
The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.

Proverbs 7:25
²⁵Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.

Proverbs 7:25, Amplified
²⁵Let not your heart incline toward her ways, do not stray into her paths.

I really believe the position of the church today should be empowerment! We first must get out into the streets and encounter people. How else will they come less we go out and meet them? I am in marketing and advertising and one thing I’ve learned from watching the large companies like McDonald’s is you always have to promote your product! And just because you already have a household name, does not mean you don’t have to advertise. McDonald’s is the #1, most known business, around the world yet you can see them on TV, hear them on the radio, see them in the newspapers, billboards, circulars, internet, etc…why because they believe in keeping their name in everyone’s ear! With so many restaurants and places to eat, they want to make sure when you’re hungry to want to go to their restaurant. There are studies that have been done about the food not being healthy but they continue to change their menu, and upgrade, and promote, to bring people in.

We have the best product of all, we have Jesus! Why should we be any different? Now I began this writing about why the church should not copy the world, and that is still the basis for this writing…this is a business principle that I believe we can see from the example of Jesus…Jesus did not sit in a temple and wait for the people to come to him, he went to the people! So what am I saying…we need to let people know what we have and how to get it, we need to be visible by using the various vehicles such as TV, radio, internet, and print (media) to promote the message of Jesus Christ and we need to come out of the four walls in order to do that. However, the message must be the same! It cannot be compromised, or tainted to reach the lost. It must be the gospel message of Christ which causes the lost to repent and turn toward a new life in Jesus where he is Lord. Then we disciple them, and empower them to do the same, reach the lost for Christ! By doing this we successfully extend the kingdom of God.
This empowerment I speak of is merely letting them know they are blessed!

Blessed means – empowered to prosper.

God gives us the tools to be successful in everything he commissions us to do. Again we must know what our assignment is so that we can obtain success. We can only be successful when we have carried out what God gave us, not what we just did. Those are dead works, even though it was a good thing, if it was not an authored thing it is dead. But we should not focus on what people cannot do…church is full of don’t do this, don’t do that. People are always going to sway on the side of taboo, we just have to find out why can’t I do that, nothing is going to happen, that’s not a bad person, the club is okay as long as I’m careful, one drink won’t hurt me, I have control over this, I’m not going to let music do that to me…it is the nature of fallen man due to the garden! But we who are in Christ are not fallen man! We are in Christ, we are new creatures, and we have been reconnected to our original purpose, to be God in the Earth. So it should now be about what can you do…you have the Spirit of God in you this is what you can do, this is who you are now go take the world for the kingdom of God! By allowing these things that so easily beset us to get in our way, seeking the temptations of this world, and lusting after the flesh, money, the pride of life will only cause you to fall short. It only hinders you from what you could do.

I’ll give an example…if we take two children and raise them in two different houses, give them the same opportunities, and give them the same purpose in life. Both children are going to be football stars; but child A we tell him all the things he cannot do, what to stay away from, and tell him all of the evils of the NFL. Child B we tell him who he is, we give him direction, we put him on a path, and empower him with the knowledge of how to get to the desired end being a football star. Which child do you think is more likely to end up in the NFL? I say child B…why? Because child A is going to be told don’t get hurt, don’t get caught up in the wrong crowd, don’t just go after money…child B is going to hear, train hard, listen to your coach, always do your best, you are going to be in the NFL, failure is not an option, you are not a quitter, etc…now what child A was taught is not wrong…but when you empower a child with what he can do, and who he is he’ll know not to do the other things because it will get in the way of who he is!

And it is the same with us; I was always taught if you want to know what’s real you don’t have to study the fake. You know what’s real by studying what is real. I don’t need to study the devil to know the devil, I just have to know Jesus! Cause if I know him, I can spot the devil a mile away. I don’t have to wonder if an opportunity is God or the devil, I just need to know Jesus and I’ll know who is sending that opportunity my way!

When we stop telling people not to sin, and tell them how to be successful and give them some kingdom work to do they won’t have time to sin, they’ll be so focused on pleasing God they can govern their own self! Not saying that sin will go away for good, but I’m sure it would decrease a lot!!! We don’t condone sin, nor do we promote it, but we have to empower…so as I end this writing I will go back to my main point for writing this…if you know God you don’t need to find someone online, you don’t need a blind date, you don’t need these worldly ways of hooking up. God will hook you up with the one who has the grace and the assignment for you, and one that can walk with you where ever he has called you to go!

Before God gave Adam a wife he gave him a purpose, that purpose made the wife make sense. Without the purpose there was no need for a wife. She was to help him with that purpose. Now we know how it ended up, but the blueprint is there and we have to go back and study it…see what God did, and see what Adam did. Jesus came because Adam did not carry out his assignment, and he came to complete the assignment. Be God in the Earth, be fruitful, and multiply. Make me in the Earth God said. Adam was supposed to multiply himself. We know because that’s what Jesus did. He took 12, made them disciples showed them his might and his power by his actions, so that they could see one day what they would do…He put his heart in them, his mind, his will…He then put his spirit in them, now what was once one became many in the Earth, and as they carried on and continue what he began, more of Him was in the Earth…here we are today we are continuing to extend the Kingdom of God, but it began with an assignment. Marriage is not in everyone’s assignment. It is important that the church not make marriage so common. Marriage is an appointment, and should be considered as such.

We have to be careful with our influence; just because you have great influence over people does not mean you should use it for everything. Great influence can be a dangerous place, because people will follow you everywhere you go without question! That doesn’t mean that everywhere you take them is an ordered step! We as leaders have to be careful in influencing God’s people…we have to make sure that God is our influence first so that we are following him, and the people follow us…Paul said it, Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1) Also read 1 Peter 2:21. God bless you.

Brother Marlon is the host of Sunday Gospel heard on WAMO 106.7FM and 1510AM WPGR, in Pittsburgh, PA.  He is a husband, father, and ordained Elder.  He is serious about the things of God and uses his gifts and abilities for the extension of the kingdom of God of .  His energetic style and sincere heart for God and his people cause many to see the light of Christ in the Earth.  He believes people should strive for the blessing of God which comes through a true relationship with our source and our provider, Jesus Christ.